Redefining the Definition of a Widow

According to the dictionary, the definition of a widow is a woman who lost her spouse by death and has not remarried. This is also considered the legal definition for the purpose of survival benefits. Now, i can understand the legal term, but I don't think being a widow is really that simple. What about couples who were not legally married? What if you've been together long term but just live in a part? What if you've only been together for just a short period of time? What if you just broke up? What if you were just taking a break, like temporarily separated? What if you were together but you just didn't believe in the institution of marriage? What if you were engaged? What if he was just the father of your children? What if you were living with someone who was separated but not legally divorced? So what about all of these women? Women who loved someone so much, held someone in the highest regard as a husband, but he never got to have that official title, and they were in fully committed relationships. In most cases. These women have to deal with not only the emotional complications of grief, but legal ramifications as well. Some women may be completely denied access to their loved one and refused privileges held only for a spouse. I can't even begin to imagine the isolation that may be associated with being denied the acceptance of being a widow. So what should these women be called? They may not have the Webster dictionary definition of a widow, but they are definitely feeling like a widow. Are they widowish, widowlike Widowly, illegal widows, imaginary widows, half widow, unofficial widow, a would-be widow, an unmarried widow? I personally don't feel that a marriage certificate makes you a widow, and there is way too much emphasis on the title. I think it should be more like a verb, like widowing. So maybe for this group of women, instead of saying widow your way, these women can be widowing your way, because the thing is, being a widow is about you and not the person you lost. It's about your journey through widowhood. It's about how you identify with being a widow. It's about your healing journey. It's about how you honor the love that you had. We should never diminish another person's grief or the fact that someone may refer to themselves as a widow, even when you think they're not. Maybe it's time to look at widowhood from another perspective, because being a widow is not one size fits all, but there is a universal grief process Because, after all, love is not dead, just your husband or fiance, boyfriend, girlfriend, domestic partner, live-in lover, mate, companion or significant other.