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I always feel I have to preface this now just in case there are new listeners.
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I have been a widow now for almost six years.
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My wants, needs and support have drastically changed since my husband, tom, died, and this is reflected throughout my podcast.
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So here we go.
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The first thing I think you need to know about the widow journey that you're about to take is you are not dead, just your husband.
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That may seem like a rather bold statement, but it's the truth statement, but it's the truth.
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Yes, you are going to grieve your husband forever, but that is only one single part of this widow journey, and I don't want you to forget one important thing you are also grieving yourself Now.
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Now, I did a previous episode Grieving the loss of yourself in season 3, episode 8, and you should definitely go back and listen to the episode.
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I'll be sure to leave the link in the show notes for you.
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But today is all about you.
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This widow journey is all about you.
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This widow journey is all about you, your life, your purpose.
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It is okay for you to think about what you want for the rest of your life and to be open to all the possibilities.
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You don't have to be the selfless widow thinking about everyone else but yourself, including your husband.
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This is the time for you to be selfish.
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It's the time for you to care for yourself and to start thinking about your own wants and needs.
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I know that some of you listening may not be ready for this, and that's okay.
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To be in your sadness and the pain of grief for a while.
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I know the comforts of it all too well.
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But there will come a time when you're going to want more.
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You will want to live again, and my only hope is that when you do, you do it for yourself.
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Do what is best for you.
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Think about what your husband would want.
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Do you really think he wants you to be sad and miserable for the rest of your life, or would he want to see you happy, living out your hopes and dreams?
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You are no longer going to be the same person you were before your husband died.
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This new version of you deserves a chance.
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This new version of you is not broken.
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You are a masterpiece crafted by loss.
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You are not starting over.
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You are simply evolving into the person you were always meant to be.
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So the question is what type of widow do you want to be?
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Do you want to confine yourself to the widow stereotypes, or do you want to rise from the ashes of grief like a phoenix?
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If so, I suggest you widow your way, because, after all, you are not dead, just your husband.
